Shangsterdam twinned with Amsterdanghai

I was struck by the similarity between Amsterdam and Shanghai recently. Allow me to list them.
1. There are bloody bikes everywhere. Admittedly there are more per capita in Amsterdam (or The Dam) but they are driven equally recklessly and without recourse to the Highway Code, common sense or even the instinct for survival.
2. There is nothing to eat. Well of course there are things to eat but nothing that actually tastes nice. Well of course there are things that taste nice but they are usually miles away. And expensive. The locals, naturally, are highly patronising and take great pleasure in belittling anyone who pales at the thought of eating predigested Pea and Sausage soup (The Dam) or Pigeon Sick(The Anghai).
3. On the pavement locals in both cities do not acknowledge the existence of anyone else on the entire planet.
4. Dog shit. It is ubiquitous. Though in The Anghai it seems drier. I have no explanation for this.

Shanghai...no wait... Amsterdam... errmm.... hang on a minute... it's perpendicular (albeit temporarily) so it's Shanghai.

5. Shoddy buildings. Shoddy, shoddy workmanship Ted. As you saw from my previous postings from The Dam, the whole city is in an advanced state of falling down. A lot of The Anghai HAS fallen down and what little remained was flattened. Instead hundreds and hundreds of poorly assembled high rises have been slung up instead. It's only a matter of time. Structural integrity, in both cities, is taken with a pinch of salt and is regarded by architects as being "for girl architects."
6. The absolute necessity of keeping your wits about you at all times. Not for crime. No. For absolute knobheads on Bicycles. Citizens of both cities use The Probability Method (TPM) of cycling. ie. There probably won't be anyone walking past when I burst out from a side street, that pedestrian will probably hear me hurtling towards them from behind and get out of my way, that red light is probably green, my parked bicycle probably won't be in anyone's way. You know, that sort of thing.
7. Both cities seem quite safe. Crimewise. In The Anghai it's because criminals get shot. In The Dam it's because no one can be arsed.
8. Mice. In The Dam they are on the stairs, where on the stairs, there on the stairs, right there, little mice with clogs on, going clip clippity clop on the stairs. In The Anghai they're on the plates, deep fried and eaten. With a nice Tsing TSao (if they can afford it). Thiffs, thiffs, thiffsz. Clarice.