The buildings have been drinking

Today you find me analysing Dutch housing stock.

Look at this lot.

I ask you. All slumped against each other like a row of rheumy-eyed drunks the morning after a stag do in Amsterdam's naughty-but-nice, whore's area, the "Red Lamp Distict."

So what does this set of pictures tell us about Dutch housing?

It tells us that Dutch houses are in the advanced stages of what highly qualified city architects call "falling down."

Judging by some of the jaunty angles they've settled into I give the whole of Amsterdam about 4 months before it falls into the canals, because once one of these babies goes, it'll take every last dwelling place taller than a hat with it.

There's a coffee and doobie place on the corner of Sjeentraaassbergeengraachtkjergrachtenstraat and Eeglnteeeirteenbjergenstraaachgrachtstaat that my money's on to be first to go. Not only has highly sensitive, self-levelling architectural measuring equipment found it to be "leaning like an absolute bastard," Dutch town planning expert, Hootje van de Pjooper confirmed it has officially entered the teetering phase. He added "ja she's absholutely gonna falling down like a big shack of shhit. Ha ha ha ha ha."

The entire city, he confirmed, should then simply clatter to the ground like dominoes. Rendering instantly homeless, thousands of mice traditionally seen on the stairs, where on the stairs, there on the stairs, right there, of all Dutch dwellings.

What the Nazi's singularly failed to do during 5 years of the most destructive war in history will be accomplished in about 25 minutes by crappy 14th Century Dutch builders. Or Bjuilders as they would undoubtedly have it. They'd probably been at the waccy baccy.

Some people.