The more things change...the more they stay the same.

In The Kangaroo, you are allowed to chalk slogans, bon mots and witty aphorisms on the walls and ceilings. In the old days (last April) when I was here last and before the great Kangaroo Fuck Up (KFU) when they renovated it up, the walls were permanently adorned with all sorts of rubbish and in my mind, all the better for it but, as everyone knows, whatever I think is automatically wrong.
Anyway I was having a lonely pint in there on Friday (actually not so lonely because the barmaids have started talking to me now) and I happened to glance at the ceiling. When you're by yourself in a bar you often find yourself looking in places you don't normally look. Anything to entertain yourself. Anyway I was rewarded for my curiosity with this excellent piece of erudition.

Dutch/ Belgian graffiti on the ceiling of The Kangaroo. The circular object is a ceiling light.

It's not so much the font he's used, the kerning or indeed the sentiment behind his observation that is so interesting. It's the fact that given an empty space and a writing instrument, a bloke will always default to drawing a jizzing cock (a little known fact is that the earliest cave paintings were of jizzing cocks - archeologists hide this fact because they don't want to let on that our earliest ancestors were basically giggling neanderthal knobheads  - Homo Knobheadiens is the missing link. It's not missing at all it's just largely hidden in shame).
However I don't think this is drawn by a British person.  Why? Read on.

Number 1: The name Chris Van V sounds distinctly Dutch/Belgian and those guys don't like to mix.
Number 2: The "jizz" is a sort of.....well I don't know how to describe it.... all wrong. Anyway a plucky British bloke would have drawn a dotted line, curving at the end to show the effects of gravity.
Number 3: The balls are too well drawn The artist has given them perspective. That's a no no. Just two big Mickey Mouse ears drawn with one sweeping line is the British way.
Number 4: No crinkly hair emanating from the balls. Whilst not mandatory, if not under time pressure, a British bloke will usually add 2 to 4 crinkly "hairs" as a kind of artistic flourish. Such as Picasso might do.