What gives, Andy?

I'll tell you what gives. I haven't posted since Feb, that's what fucking gives. By now you're used to the excuses so I won't bore you with them, save to say, I had to go to Shanghai again and all the usual life administration things, such as renewing car insurance, setting up a company ( I am now the proud owner of a company called "G Bailey & Sons Horse & Motor Contractors Ltd.) then I had to get get a face cloth, of all things removed from, of all places, the fuel tank of my car  (wha...eh...errmm....a face cloth you say...but..how...how... no...never mind), playing cricket (see earlier posts) and dealing with a mother who has lost the ability to differentiate between good things and bad things so has taken to thinking everything is now a bad thing, you know, just to be on the safe side.

Anyway. Here's some pics. I was sat outside a pub called The Fox on Paul Street one sunny weekend recently. It's a fanny-tastic boozer on a quiet street between Old Street and Spitalfields. This means that it's heaving with hipsters and city people during the week but almost completely deserted during the weekend which automatically makes it the place to be on weekends in my book (the book being entitled "Get out of my way you massive idiot"). There are few cars as the street doesn't really go anywhere anyone would want to go (apart from paradise). The sun was out. I had a pint. I was sat on a low wall in the sun. In short I was happy as a stick. To put icing on the cake, two nuns strolled past and said hello to me. I didn't really know what to do but they were smiley and I think they could just tell I was really pleased with everything. I got the impression that they were implying that this beautiful day had something to do with them and I wanted to say something along the lines that if indeed they and their god had arranged my day like this then they'd done a particularly good job and would they please pass on my hearty thanks. There were three things that stopped me,

a) They seemed to have somewhere to go and frankly, that's a lot to get over in a simple 

street greeting.

b) I'm not sure where their god stands on being happy in part because one has a pint. Can't help but think he'd be OK with it but I decided to err on the side of caution.

c) They looked really nice (they were nuns so, you know, it was a good bet) and I wanted them to think I was too.  

I settled on "Lovely day."  And as they tottered off I took the pic below. I like their little handbags.

Two nuns walking down a street, one says to the other "Look at that bloke sat outside the pub." The other nun replies "What an idiot."

I've also made a coffee table or occasional table or mobile beer and pizza shelf /trip hazard combo unit.  I found an old pallet outside the post office. When no one was looking I nicked it. Then I made it into this.

The technique is this:

1) Put it under your bed for 6 months.

2) Sand the fuck out of it.

3) Stain it.

4) Screw wheels onto the bottom of it.

5) Put it on the floor where you can bark your shin on it.

I've seen these for sale on the Uniweb for £150. Cost me about £20 and three layers of epidermis (sander got away from me).

Mostly it gets in the way but we've found it's great for putting "television watching" food and beverages on (ie all food and beverages) when you're lying on the sofa and then you just wheel it over to right next to you. You heard me. Right next to you.