I'm Underriver

Not , my friends, what you'd be saying if you'd just carelessly driven your bicycle off of a bridge. No.
In reality Underriver is a small village in Kent. A misnomer if ever I read one because most of it seemed to be located 20,000 ft above sea level. How do I know this? Because I bloody walked to it. From sea level. Yes. I bloody did.

Today you discover me taking a 6 1/2 mile stroll round Underriver. In the rain. With Denise and a terrifically over excited Mungo.






The scores was thus.

Actual distance covered, taking into account some wandering off the path:


Andy: 6 1/2 miles.
Denise: 6 1/2 miles.
Mungo: 27 miles.



Amount of rain absorbed by clothing and hair:


Andy: 2.6 litres.
Denise: 2 litres
Mungo: 12 gallons (per hairy ear)



Rabbits caught:


Andy: 0
Denise: 0
Mungo: 0



Pheasants chased at Mach 2:


Andy: 0
Denise: 0
Mungo: 3



No. of times bony head bounced off fencing at Mach 2:


Andy: 0
Denise: 0
Mungo: 2



Poos :


Andy: 0
Denise: 0
Mungo: 3



No. of rabbit holes thoroughly examined:


Andy: 1
Denise: 0
Mungo: 1,777,324



Words spoken:


Andy: 204.3 (interrupted)
Denise: 3,000,766
Mungo: 0






Expletives deployed (especially the f word):
Andy: 204.3
Denise: 12
Mungo: 0